Every couple want a happy and healthy marriage free of problems too difficult to crack. While some clearly understand the complexities and are able to create a balance between their individual and marital lives, others anticipate a marriage of perfection and total fulfillment.
Unfortunately, when you finally come to the realisation that your spouse is not the man or woman with the ability to fulfil all your dreams, support as well as protect you, life can be lonely and emotionally draining too. The truth is: marriage cannot satisfy all your needs as no man has the capacity to fulfil all his/her partner’s heart’s desires; nevertheless you can be emotionally fulfilled in your marriage.
Set your rules ahead
Marriage in itself can be very exhausting when you consider the many sacrifices you both have to make as a couple and it can even be more demanding if you have children and sometimes in-laws living with you as members of your family.
Sharing your home with extended families can come with so many complications and if you cannot manage the dynamics as a couple, it can affect the stability of your home and affect your emotional wellbeing too.
In order to avoid this situation, it may be advisable to have a stern discussion on this topic and come to a favourable agreement together, set your rules ahead during the courtship period and try to focus on yourselves and your individual happiness too.
Build your own identity
Every man and woman wants a strong and positive spouse and not one who focusses on their imperfections and that of the marriage always. Spend your time and energy thinking about things you can do to engage and enhance yourself within and outside your marriage. Find your purpose and start to add value to your life, rebuild a fun, happier and more fulfilled you as you gradually become emotionally fulfilled in your marriage again.
Recognise your strengths
Misery likes company; be careful of the company you keep and how you portray your spouse and marriage to the outsiders as many with failed marriages are looking for others to recruit. A good marriage is that which is enriched through individual’s capacity to recognise the things that make their spouses happy and also help them to nurture their individual strengths too.
Build external relationships
Building external relationships with good friends outside your marriage can boost your emotional fulfilment within especially if your spouse also enjoys quality time socialising with friends too.
There are many significant advantages in socialising which can be achieved in different ways either formally or informally. The benefits are great when you rub minds with others and they can also impact positively on wellbeing and your marital relationship too.
Credit: Elizabeth Badejo
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