Fights in relationships happen. We get mad, frustrated and often misunderstand things.
Still, there are ways of having loving communication even when you are mad for whatever reason. How you say things and address issues makes all the difference when it comes to such times.
Generally, men and women do things and handle issues differently. Certain things can be interpreted in a harsh way depending on how they are said.
When it comes to addressing your wife or girlfriend during fights, there are certain things you should leave out. Words have the power to make or break a relationship so you better be careful how you use them.
Here is a list of things that you should never ever tell your wife, fiancée, girlfriend or any woman for that matter when arguing.
- ‘You’re crazy’
So many women feel particularly sensitive to being called crazy. Add this phrase to an argument and you’re likely to make the crazy come out of her. So many men have made mistakes even intentionally and made their partner feel crazy for reacting to their questionable behavior. It’s better to be calm and see her point of view rather than calling her crazy.
- ‘My ex would never…’
It feels horrible to be compared to an ex regardless. Making certain comparisons especially with an ex, is basically shooting yourself on the foot. The only time women like to be compared to an ex is when you are complementing her for something good that never happened in your previous relationships. Otherwise, your ex should never come up.
What does this even mean? I really don’t think any woman has ever relaxed after being told to do so during a fight. When things are heated, the last thing she wants to hear is, ‘calm down’ or ‘relax.’ She is obviously upset and needs some time to recover on her own so invalidating her reaction when something is wrong adds fuel to the fire. It’s better to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing better to say.
- ‘Stop crying’
Women are sensitive beings in general. We need to express how we feel by talking it out or even by crying when things are overwhelming. Crying helps to release some stress in a healthy way and the tears need to flow first before she can feel better. With this new insight, avoid telling her to stop crying because she needs to.
- ‘You never…’
Never is a strong word. It shows that someone doesn’t appreciate what she does and the contributions she makes. Women are delicate and often feel unworthy so when someone uses a blanket statement like ‘never’ without looking at the true facts, it can be damaging. Always refrain from telling her she never does this or that. This will make it easier for you to recover from the argument and prevent things from escalating.
- ‘Fine, sorry then…’
Never tell her you’re sorry for the sake of saying it. She is able to tell the difference between a true apology and a fake one. Actually, it’s even better to say nothing at all because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s forcing the apology out of you. If you can, let things cool down for some time and then apologize sincerely if you made a mistake.
- ‘That’s why you look…’
A woman and her looks should never be commented on in an unloving way. You can mistakenly crush her esteem through a few words and leave her feeling damaged and ugly for many years or even her entire lifetime. So, never tell her something mean about her looks during an argument because she’ll never forget it.
- ‘You must be on your periods’
This comment is one of the worst things a man can say to his partner. You don’t want her to feel defensive or guilty about something she has no control over. Using this attack during a fight is very insensitive and uninformed so never let those words out, at all!